Anyway let’s take a look at some lavish laptop bags you shouldn’t be shopping for unless you’re an oil-rich Sultan or your debt is falling short of the national average.

The Bremen Laptop Traveler Bag by Knomo – $375

Knomo’s expandable Bremen laptop traveler bag will only set you back a cool $375, which makes it the least expensive laptop bag of the bunch. At the very least, you get a roomy bag complete with Knomo’s tracker system which reunites you with your lost bag, assuming that the person who found your bag begrudgingly calls in to report it. Knomo also offers other laptop bags for both men and women, but none can carry a small child in it like the spacious and expensive Bremen can.

(BTW, Knomo’s website appears to be down so the photo currently links to ebags.com and shows their price of $395 which is more expensive than Knomo’s direct price of $375. I will update the link to Knomo once the site is back online.)

The i-volution Shell Special Edition Laptop Case by Vaja – $500

Starting at $500, Vaja builds this and all their laptop cases by hand while offering a variety of color combinations and personalization options – all at an additional price of course. According to Vaja’s site, their full grain cowhide comes from the top 10% of Argentina’s leather producers and this particular special edition case is dressed in a high-end premium Renato leather skin.

The 7″ Aluminum Computer Case by Zero Haliburton – $575

Zero Haliburton’s $575 wheeled aluminum computer case is lined with a shock-absorbent foam interior and features heavy-duty draw bolt latches and a strong aluminum exterior to protect your laptop from just about anything short of a point-blank gunshot. Actually, this computer case is quite affordable when compared to the $2250 carbon fiber carry on case they sell.

The Voltaic Generator by Voltaic Systems – $599

Although I said that you shouldn’t be spending big bucks on any of these bags, the Voltaic Generator by Voltaic Systems is the only bag that I would actually spend some money on. The aluminum frame is covered in fabrics made from recycled water bottles and the solar array can generate enough power to charge a laptop along with your other electronic devices. It’s the ultimate in geek and eco-friendly gadgetry, and it will set you back $599.

The Croco Collection Classic Briefbag by Jack Georges – $725

A padded laptop compartment and full organizer qualifies this $725 ‘brief bag’ as a computer case. Also featured is a key lock, polished nickel hardware, and a hand stained croco-embossed calfskin exterior made from the finest tannery in Italy – which according to Google’s search results is a claim that hundreds of bag producers make yet do not elaborate on.

The INTRECCIATO Laptop Case by BOTTEGA VENETA – $2350

I’m not even sure if this qualifies as a real laptop case or BOTTEGA VENETA decided to call one of their purses a laptop bag. Either way, $2350 will land you this rather plain looking laptop case/bag with cotton lining and detachable shoulder strap – *yawn*. Actually, the lack of any coolness factor is why I almost omitted this bag, and decided to definitely omit the $1000+ Prada Ombre Laptop Bag which basically looks like something Hello Kitty coughed up.

The Laptop Case by Calder – $4354

Get ready because for only 2240 British pounds, which comes out to approximately $4354 US dollars (calculated on 05/13/08), you can own a carbon fiber hand-crafted Calder laptop case which takes more than 24 hours to wrap in Swedish Tarnsjo leather. As you know, carbon fiber is 5 times stronger than steel while still being lighter than aluminum, so your laptop will be sitting pretty in one of these babies. And if you need more reassurance, additional protection is added through a suspension pad that consists of open cell foam, closed cell foam, and visco-elastic ‘memory foam’.

In Conclusion

Admittedly, some of these laptop bags are serious high-end products that merit some applause and envy. Yet, hopefully by now you understand 1) I’m really bad at being sarcastic, and 2) there are some luxuries you can afford to pass up when starting your business.

Now, of course I wouldn’t make a list of laptop bags you shouldn’t buy without making a complimentary list of affordable laptop bags you should buy – that’s not how we roll on The Closet Entrepreneur. So for all you faithful readers and subscribers, stay tuned for my future blog post featuring stylish yet affordable laptop bags for you and your business… I’ll start writing the post as soon as I get the visions of the Prada Ombre laptop bag out of my head. Until then, feel free to share any ridiculously expensive laptop bags I may have missed by leaving a comment!

Sincerely,
The Closet Entrepreneur

Here’s a little something for all of you who at one time or another were tempted to leave your job in a blaze of glory. I’m not sure as to the validity of the farewell letter, but I can tell you that the email I received was at one point forwarded by a program manager at JPMorgan Chase.

Sincerely,
The Closet Entrepreneur

Jay Rodriguez/JPMCHASE
06/22/2007 01:16 PM
Subject Farewell

Dear Co-Workers and Managers,

As many of you probably know, today is my last day. But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type “Today is my last day.”

For nearly as long as I’ve worked here, I’ve hoped that I might one day leave this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please know that I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack of support. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.

I would especially like to thank all of my managers both past and present but with the exception of the wonderful Saroj Hariprashad: in an age where miscommunication is all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired me with the sheer magnitude of your misinformation, ignorance and intolerance for true talent. It takes a strong man to admit his mistake – it takes a stronger man to attribute his mistake to me.

Over the past seven years, you have taught me more than I could ever ask for and, in most cases, ever did ask for. I have been fortunate enough to work with some absolutely interchangeable supervisors on a wide variety of seemingly identical projects – an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium.

Your demands were high and your patience short, but I take great solace knowing that my work was, as stated on my annual review, “meets expectation.” That is the type of praise that sends a man home happy after a 10 hour day, smiling his way through half a bottle of meets expectation scotch with a meets expectation cigar. Thanks Trish!

And to most of my peers: even though we barely acknowledged each other within these office walls, I hope that in the future, should we pass on the street, you will regard me the same way as I regard you: sans eye contact.

But to those few souls with whom I’ve actually interacted, here are my personalized notes of farewell:

To Philip Cress, I will not miss hearing you cry over absolutely nothing while laying blame on me and my coworkers. Your racial comments about Joe Cobbinah were truly offensive and I hope that one day you might gain the strength to apologize to him.

To Brenda Ashby whom is long gone, I hope you find a manager that treats you as poorly as you have treated us. I worked harder for you then any manager in my career and I regret every ounce of it. Watching you take credit for my work was truly demoralizing.

To Sylvia Keenan, you should learn how to keep your mouth shut sweet heart. Bad mouthing the innocent is a negative thing, especially when your talking about someone who knows your disgusting secrets. ; )

To Bob Malvin (Mr. Cronyism Jr), well, I wish you had more of a back bone. You threw me to the wolves with that witch Brenda and I learned all too much from it. I still can’t believe that after following your instructions, I ended up getting written up, wow. Thanks for the experience buddy, lesson learned.

Don Merritt (Mr. Cronyism Sr), I’m happy that you were let go in the same manner that you have handed down to my dedicated coworkers. Hearing you on the phone last year brag about how great bonuses were going to be for you fellas in upper management because all of the lay offs made me nearly vomit. I never expected to see management benefit financially from the suffering of scores of people but then again, with this company’s rooted history in the slave trade it only makes sense.

To all of the executives of this company, Jamie Dimon and such. Despite working through countless managers that practiced unethical behavior, racism, sexism, jealousy and cronyism, I have benefited tremendously by working here and I truly thank you for that. There was once a time where hard work was rewarded and acknowledged, it’s a pity that all of our positive output now falls on deaf ears and passes blind eyes. My advice for you is to place yourself closer to the pulse of this company and enjoy the effort and dedication of us “faceless little people” more. There are many great people that are being over worked and mistreated but yet are still loyal not to those who abuse them but to the greater mission of providing excellent customer support. Find them and embrace them as they will help battle the cancerous plague that is ravishing the moral of this company.

So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to the lower salary recipient (“because it’s good for the company”) in India or Tampa who will soon be filling my position, it would be to cherish this experience because a job opportunity like this comes along only once in a lifetime.

Meaning: if I had to work here again in this lifetime, I would sooner kill myself.

To those who I have held a great relationship with, I will miss being your co-worker and will cherish our history together. Please don’t bother responding as at this very moment I am most likely in my car doing 85 with the windows down listening to Biggie.

One!

_

*Post Scriptum: I do not advocate burning bridges in this manner, this is simply a viral email that I wanted to share.

• Exhibit A: Intel Cares

[audio:intel_care.mp3]

• Exhibit B: PWC Team Dancing

… And just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse…

• Exhibit C: Ernst & Young “Oh Happy Day!”

[via gapingvoid]

~Sincerely,
The Closet Entrepreneur

I’ve always used humor as a way to relate to people, find acceptance, push someone’s buttons, flirt, schmooze, insult someone, break the ice, and once in a while actually try to make someone laugh. The only problem is that people get the impression that all I do is joke around, and at times that leads to people not taking me seriously altogether. It’s not the kind of impression I want to make when asking a potential customer to trust in me and my business, so I’m hoping to create my site in a way that embodies my personality and can allow users to enjoy themselves yet still convey some professionalism.

Side Note: I’m in no way saying that a website has to make someone smile to be effective, yet it doesn’t hurt to leave a user chuckling once in a while. If I remember correctly, the process of laughing and smiling releases endorphins which have various health benefits including stress and pain relief.

Anyway, I thought I would share a list of five great sites that I’ve found to be fun, functional, successful, and able to put a smile on a user’s face. Feel free to drop a comment and list any useful sites that you get a kick out of while using on a regular basis.

• Photojojo

• Trizoko

• Wufoo

• Feedburner

• Woot

Sincerely,
The Closet Entrepreneur

Post Scriptum: Here’s a nice article by Kathy Sierra from Creating Passionate Users about making users smile: Who’d you make smile today?

Oh what the heck, this could be incriminating… I mean interesting. So here you go, five little known facts about The Closet Entrepreneur:

1) In 2002, I was asked to escort an ad agency around Intel while they came up with ideas for the upcoming “Yes” campaign. During one session, they asked if I could help out and hold a box of wafers (incorrectly) while they took some pictures. Low and behold, they decided to use the picture and it actually ended up as the center spread in the Wall Street Journal. Later on, the picture was used on a New York billboard (I was told) and on a huge banner outside the Arizona Intel campus. I was known as “Bunny man holding wafer in copper light”.

2) That same year, I was visiting friends at Stanford and ended up hanging out with some cool people for an impromptu hookah smoke. Turns out that one of the girls I met was actually the Princess of Bhutan (I later found out that she had several sisters who were also considered Princesses of Bhutan).

3) In high school, I was able to grab a regulation height 10 foot rim with both hands even though I was only 5’7″ tall. Unfortunately, I couldn’t dunk since I couldn’t palm the ball. I played guard, bench, and waterboy. And I scored double-doubles every night (00 points – 00 rebounds).

4) Although I was born and raised in Arizona, I didn’t visit the Grand Canyon (or Flagstaff for that matter) until I was 25 years old. And, I didn’t visit meteor crater, Monument Valley, or the four corners until I was 29 years old. Then again, I visited Mexico, “The End of the World” (Ushuaia, Argentina), and the Great Wall of China before I ever stepped foot east of El Paso. And, I still have yet to visit any other east coast city other than Boston.

5) My first car was a 1976 Chrysler Cordoba (it still had a functioning 8-track player). My second car was a 1978 Chrysler Cordoba; both cars were built like tanks. I was involved in 2 fender benders in the same day (one was my fault, the other wasn’t) and my front bumper didn’t have a scratch. They just don’t build them like they used to (thank goodness).

Well there you have it. I’ll be a good sport and continue this “blog tag” in the spirit of fun – so now you’re “IT” Jason, Mark, Tango, Anthony, and Flint.

Sincerely,
The Closet Entrepreneur

When I take a look around the office, I figure 95% of my fellow cubemates received some type of university education. Of that 95%, probably 10%-15% received a post-graduate degree whether it be an MBA, Masters, or PhD. Yet, when I walk into the men’s restroom, sometimes I just have to wonder who the heck I’m actually sharing the restroom with.

Now, I could just keep quiet and let my feelings subside. Yet I like to live a life that is as worry and stress-free as I can make it, so for that reason alone, I must vent. So, here’s my much needed office space bathroom rant!

To the guy who keeps leaving printouts of Right Wing articles for all to read:

I’m glad to see you’re passionate about what you believe in. But trust me buddy, there’s not much I can do for you while sitting on the john. If you truly want me to read something, leave me a printout of the latest college hoop news.

To the guy who sits in the neighboring stall when there’s a completely empty one two stalls away:

My bathroom breaks are precious to me, it’s the only time I actually have to myself away from my cubicle and cubemates. I love my few moments of peace and solitude, so please don’t move in next door unless that’s the only stall left unoccupied. And if you do use the stall next to me, just one courtesy flush would make things so much better.

To the guy who doesn’t wash his hands after using the bathroom:

I understand that you may be skilled enough to not dirty your hands while using the restroom. Yet I’m the kind of person that would ask to have MythBusters prove your cleanliness before I actually take your word for it. Please, for mine and everyone’s sake, just take a second to thoroughly lather each hand and rinse them under running water. It could help you from catching a cold, and the soap really isn’t that bad.

To the guy who just left the stall looking like a murder scene:

I’m concerned for your health, and thus would recommend eating more foods with soluble fiber. You may also want to lay off the chili beans.

To the cleaning lady who always knocks on the door when I’m in the bathroom:

I’m not sure how you manage to find me every time. And although I shout “occupied” when you knock, it sometimes doesn’t really stop you from coming in and setting up shop. I understand it’s your job, and you do leave the bathroom spotless. Yet can you and I just sit down one day and I’ll create an Excel spreadsheet and we can allocate time slots so my few moments of peace aren’t startled by a a sudden knocking? It would be such a win-win situation.

Sincerely,
The Closet Entrepreneur

You can click HERE to listen to the tune.

Sincerely,
The Closet Entrepreneur

Mark from whatasavage.com writes…

Hey, Tomas, here’s something to blog about:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13012544

what do you know about this? You crazy Arizonins.

Well Mark, sometimes us Arizonans run out of stuff to do and erecting fences is an entertaining pastime that many retirees and Southern Arizona Ranchers enjoy! In all seriousness though, illegal immigration has become a huge issue here in Arizona – so huge that some people are taking matters into their own hands (like the Minuteman Civil Defense Corps). It’s definitely a sensitive topic that doesn’t necessarily have a quick and easy answer due to the numerous legal and moral issues associated with it. Personally, I think that there are many individuals who have taken the proper “legal” means to become US Citizens, and it would be rather unfair to grant citizenship to someone who has been living and working in the US through illegal means. Economically, I believe that many businesses and industries in Arizona and the US rely heavily on the workforce provided by undocumented workers. It would be nice to see a guest worker program, and it would be nice to have an effective system that ensures businesses aren’t cheating by hiring undocumented workers. In the end, I don’t think a fence is going to stop illegal immigration, I think socially and morally responsible businesses will.

Prospero Vargas writes…

GOOD DAY Mr.s, I need to consult several items, such as:

availability of cranes
cost per day in stand by and in use
average cost of mobilization
time of request of services
Best regards

Well I’m not really sure how to respond to this one? The only Cranes I really know about are the white flying kind that frequent my neighborhood’s manmade lakes… they’re free if you’re willing to hunt one down.

And last but not least, Deanne writes…

beautiful online information center. greatest work… thanks

Deanne, you won’t believe how many people leave the same comment, and they must all live with you because all the emails share the same IP address! It appears that my spam filter may need some tweaking.

Sincerely,
The Closet Entrepreneur

You see, an audience of 165 million is amazing, yet what about an audience of two billion people? I’m talking about one in every three individuals on this planet here. So what kind of mass global marketing platform is this you ask?

Telenovelas!

That’s right, telenovelas – Latin-American soap dramas. According to Javier Lizarzaburu of BBC’s World Service Close Up program, “[telenovelas] are possibly the number-one form of human entertainment on the planet.”

I never really thought that novelas could be that popular; I remember my mother and other family members indulging in the overly melodramatic shows on Univision and Telemundo. Yet dig a little deeper and you’ll find that novelas have made some interesting inroads into Asia. India went so far as to adapt a version of Betty la Fea (Betty the Ugly Girl) for their own programming, and I even recall my roommate’s conversation with an Indonesian girl who watched Latin-American soap operas all the time.

So what should Intel, Apple, AMD, or any other global company do? Forget Mariah Carey or Seal, they should be doing whatever it takes to get their products into the hands of Latin-American soap stars! Better yet, plug some ideas about a novela where two people (preferably working in an engineering firm or clean room) are brought together through an iPod or Centrino laptop!

Sincerely,
‘El’ Closet Entrepreneur

Links used for this post: Worldscreen.com, BBC News

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